Sometimes we should allow our kids to question conventional wisdom, and also to question them instead of giving them the received wisdom.
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Here are some things to consider once we have children:
(Inspiration Source) I read this really interesting article on NPR the other day about how we can get our kids to do chores.
Turns out that besides being tantrum machines, toddlers like to be helpful. This explains why one of the twins is such a helper (the other is a tattletale). It seems that being around people they love and helping out is a strong motivation. And Mexican families harness this by allowing the kids to help even if it gets messy; inculcating the desire to be helpful is more important than the outcome. Here's what we can do:
Being born with a silver spoon is not enough to ensure that my kids will do well in life. They may have a head start but if I don't impart more intangible qualities to them they run the risk of wasting the opportunity they have been given.
I've mentioned this many times but one of the key values we impart are financial in nature, especially money management. My boys are on a holiday right now, and I have gotten them wallets and given them about 10 Euros and 10 Swiss Francs for them to buy small treats for themselves or to save up and come back and exchange it with me. I thought it was one way to try and share with them on how to properly manage their money. Although I suspect they're going to trick grandpa into getting them stuff. I'm sure there will be plenty of opportunities as they grow up. Also it is important to share with them family goals and vision. This will give the wealth accumulated a purpose and give our kids a purpose as well. It will also carry on the family legacy. With the right money management skills and a family vision, they will be able to formulate their personal long-term goals. Along the way it involves being honest with our kids and also listening to them. We have to be honest about our own money shortcomings. And also not be shy to talk to them on how we finance our big ticket items. For now my boys are kinda young, and they keep asking me for money. So at least they know the power of money. Now it becomes important to teach them how to manage their own money. I think their mother has told them that they get more money if they do their worksheets. (Inspiration source) My kids are turning 5 soon, and I've been thinking about how to give them the gift of good financial habits. And I came across this article that really got me thinking. Here are some financial habits we can instill in our kids:
There's a lot to consider if we have a large amount of wealth to handover to our kids.
One common way is that we just don't tell our kids what we have and what they will be inheriting. Ultimately that leaves the kids in the dark, and makes it difficult for them to decide how to structure their lives. Either they try to go fully independent and try to structure their lives as if there is no financial support from us, or they continually ask for additional support, especially if they have kids. This can become awkward when it comes to asking for money and so on. Another common way is to set up a trust to have the money distributed to the kids after we have passed. However, this only meets the parents' interests and not that of the kids. Mine are still young, but I have to remember that when I pass they'll be adults too (hopefully). We hope that we would have raised financially responsible kids. If that's the case then why lock it into a trust, since they are fully capable of managing the money. And if they are financially irresponsible, a considerable amount of their energies will go to unlocking the trust and/or challenging the will. Also, we have to remember that our grandkids or great grandkids will inherit the money (trusts cannot last longer than 100 years in Singapore, unless a charity trust). If our kids didn't pass on good money habits, our "protection" only lasts one or two generations after us. Thus fulfilling the 富不过三代 saying. My personal take is that as a family, we should sit down with our children, be honest about what we have, and discuss what the family goal is. I believe that having a common family mission will ensure that the throughout the generations the wealth will be preserved for that purpose. Money for money's sake is not really a uniting mission. But a family deciding that the wealth should be used to support education, welfare, health or the arts, or to ensure the family business becomes the market leader/retain market position (other than supporting members of the family), will mean that the family has a mission. The mission will keep various members on track and allow them to structure their lives. It means that the wealth may survive beyond the 3rd generation as each generation passes on the family mission. (Inspiration Source) Don't
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(Source) So the original article was Money Lessons Grandparents can teach their Grandkids, but I think these lessons are still applicable for parents to pass on to their children.
For ages 3 to 8, the Gift of Delayed Gratification - get them to start saving. My boys are this age. And they love to put coins in their piggy banks. I might get mason jars just so they can see it grow. For ages 8 to 14, the Gift of Hard Work - start giving them paid chores or making them ask neighbours, relatives, family friends for paid work around the house. And when they enter their teens, maybe consider a small business (i.e. baby sitting, pet sitting). For ages 10+, the Gift of Investing - Teach them about investing in the stock market. Open trading account in your name, but solely for stocks that you buy for them or that they want to buy. Review the stocks every so often. Read the annual reports with them. For ages 14+, the Gift of Avoiding Bad Debt - Teach them to stay away from racking up debts for consumption. For ages 17+, the Gift of Saving and Compounding- Encourage them to put away a portion of their pay into savings (i.e. forced savings). Also explain to them how topping up their CPF may not be a bad idea if they have extra money. Often, we talk about leaving a legacy to our children and grandchildren. All the money in the world will not help them if we do not give them the gifts of proper money management. That is a far more important legacy than just cold hard cash. I grew up around the family business, having hung around my parents in their office was interesting. I was playing with typewriters, chops, photocopying machines and the like since I was young. I would listen in on conversations about their projects and how they dealt with problems.
Alas, I became a salary man. I have my reasons. But there are they I wish I could bring my kids in to watch me work. It seems that the best way to build business sense into our children, other than asking them to help you out, is to get them to run their own business. By having a stake in a business they pick up these skills:
I'm not sure what businesses my 4 year olds could run by themselves right now, but this is something I shall keep broaching with them. They are beginning to understand the concept of money, but it's normally "Daddy. Give me money." I've been trying to work into our conversations the idea that they will have to earn their keep. One of them really wants to play golf and he keeps telling me that he wants to play everyday. So I told him he has get a job that allows him to play golf or to turn golf into a job (i.e. go professional). I explained that he has to practice everyday and never give up. Hopefully as they grow we can have more money conversations and to have to figure out how they can make extra pocket money as they are growing up. Here's how we can help our kids become resilient little buggers:
Any other tips to share on how to make our kids Resilient? |
AuthorLate 30s. Dad. Thinking about life, family, work, and retirement. Sharing those thoughts with others Categories
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