Most negotiations begin with an opening offer, or the Ask; whether it is asking our kids to do their chores or asking the car salesman how much that nice Toyota is going to cost. Here are some important questions to ask before you even ask:
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Negotiation is taught in business schools and law colleges like it's some skill that is requires rigorous training. Truth is all of us negotiate all the time. Every single one of us can negotiate and do so all the time. Here are some things to remember when we negotiate:
(Inspiration Source) Textio did an analysis of tech companies' job listings and found that the words that they used reflected what they truly valued. Similarly, in our everyday conversation our choice of words betray our values. A simple example is: Foreign Domestic Worker, Helper, Maid, Aunty. Each one of these words carry with them certain values of the speaker.
The old saying about pessimists and optimists seeing the glass "half empty" and "half full" is another classic example of how the choice of word betray our values. I take note of the words that people use when describing things, because it gives me an insight into how they think and how they view the world. Similarly, I choose my words carefully when I'm not with close friends or associates. I try to explain more as well giving rise to some folks saying I am "lor sor" (long winded). To re-purpose an old phrase... "Loose Lips Sink Ships". Our choice of words if not carefully chosen ("loose lips") can lead to offending people because from our words they infer certain values ("sink ships"). So we should choose our words carefully. They may betray us more than we know. I teach this a lot in my negotiation class, and it boils down to asking the right questions.
With the right questions we can understand where the other person is "coming from" (i.e. their interests). And if we can help them meet their interests, they will feel like we understand and care about them. This works beyond formal negotiation, and is useful in "familial/friends" negotiation, like deciding where to eat, what movie to watch, or even what school to go to. Questions can generally be broken down in open-ended and close-ended questions. Open-ended questions elicit more information. I recommend using these to find out another person's interests. Generally they are prefaced by How, Who, What, Why, Where, When (or 1H5W). If your question does not start with 1H5W, it is likely a close ended question. These are useful for confirming information already known and for active listening. For example, "Earlier you said that you wanted to get a hamburger, right?" That would be a close ended question. Close ended questions are not good for getting information. Q: "Did you go out with John earlier?" A: No. You are none the wiser as to who the person went out with. So why not ask it this way: Q: "Who did you go with earlier?" A: Kevin. Elicit information and use it to help the person. Then they will feel a connection with you. As you're sourcing for information, if you have common ground, you can use that to establish a more genuine connection. Sure you and Lisa may be from different generations, but maybe you both love sewing or cross country skiing. Use that as a way to build bridges. It will also serve as a stronger link for them to remember you. It also gives you new avenues to contact them in the future. Remember that a good connection with someone starts with asking the right questions. (Inspiration Source)
(Inspiration source) As a practitioner of principle negotiation the goal is to always have a win-win situation. It does not mean winning at all costs but to help both sides win. Here are some things to take note of when negotiating:
(Inspiration source) I recently read this article and thought to share some of the ideas it shares on negotiation.
If we can work on these 10 skills, we should be able to negotiate most negotiations well. It's a long list, but that's what most negotiators who use Principled Negotiation think about. Enjoy!
Some ways to use biases to your favour in negotiation:
This goes to the heart of negotiation. The reasons, or interests, that drive our negotiation.
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AuthorLate 30s. Dad. Thinking about life, family, work, and retirement. Sharing those thoughts with others Categories
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May 2018
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